The Princess, the Prefect, and the Prodigy
by Booklovers101
Summary: What happens when you put Edward, Cedric, and Robert Pattinson together? Steal Carlisle's car? Kidnap the actor for Ron Weasly? All the answers are right here, in this story. Read at your own risk; you may/may not die from the humor and sarcasm within...


DISCLAIMER: Twilight nor Harry Potter belong to any of the authoresses.

* * *

Authoresses' Note: This is written much like a play.

Authoresses' Note 2: This is our first fanfic.

Authoresses' Note 3: In this chapter, there is not much Harry Potter, but it is still pretty humorous anyway.

Authoresses' Note 4: This is dedicated to all Twilight, Anti-Twilight, Harry Potter, and Anti-Harry Potter people

Authoresses' Note 5: Enjoy!

Authoresses' Note 7: The other authoresses want to get on with the story, so they say I should stop putting authoress notes and tell you further comments at the end of the story.

Authoresses' Note 8: But I don't want to do that because I don't have to.

Authoresses' Note 9: Now the others sound really annoyed.

Authoresses' Note 10: They think 10 is enough

Authoresses' Note 11: They failed to notice that there is no Authoresses Note 6, as have you

Authoresses' Note 12: You have now just checked the other Notes to see if there really isn't an Authoresses Note 6

Authoresses' Note 13: I have told the truth; there is not.

Authoresses' Note 14: I am now laughing at you.

Authoresses' Note 15: The others are starting to scare me. They do not happen to find this as amusing as I.

Authoresses' Note 16: This is really Authoresses' Note 15.

Authoresses' Note 17: The others say they have realized this.

Authoresses' Note 18: Now they tell me I should really stop doing this, as it is wasting everyone's time.

Authoresses' Note 19: But I have reminded them that I do not have to.

Authoresses' Note 20: They don't seem to care.

Authoresses' Note 21: Please do **NOT** copy and paste this into your signature, because the person who made it (SFM, or Authoress 1) doesn't really want you to. Really. So, as she would be to you, be courteous and **do **_**NOT**_, as said before, **copy and paste this into your signature**. She will not like it. Thank you

Authoresses' Note 22: I have nothing else to say, so let's get on with the story!

Authoresses' Note 23: **mumbles **Finally! ~Authoress 2 and 3

* * *

Mandy:** Walks to Minerva's house**

Mandy: **knocks on door**

Minerva: Hey! Who is there?

Mandy: It is me, your best friend Mandy.

Minerva: It is _I,_ your best friend Mandy. Did you get an F in grammar? I don't let F-getters into my house. **smiles teasingly**

Mandy: Just to tell you, I got a D+ and FYI, that is NOT an F

Minerva: Whatever. Close enough. **Opens door**

Mandy: Thank you! **Strolls in** Sooo…What are you up to?

Minerva: Math homework.

Mandy: Again?

Minerva: Uh-huh…

Mandy: Lemme guess, you have a project after this?

Minerva: Got that right.

Mandy: Well, looks like the work has got to rest. You know why?

Minerva: **groans** Don't tell me; I don't wanna know…

Mandy: I'm bored! And you know what THAT means, right?

Minerva: Lemme guess: criminal work?

Mandy: Exactly!

Minerva: I was afraid of that…

Mandy: And do you know what job you could do?

Minerva:** groans**

Mandy: You could make the plan for me! Isn't that great?

Minerva: Erm…

Mandy: Sooo…what are we going to do? **Smiles brightly**

Minerva: **Rolls eyes** I need a minute to put up a plan.

Mandy:** waiting impatiently**

Minerva: **groans and gets a piece of paper, writes stuff down**

Mandy: Ooh, ooh, do you have it?

Minerva: **looks up** huh?

Mandy: The plan?

Minerva: Oh, I was setting up my science project** calls a group member**

Mandy: Oh nooo…**puts hand on head**

Minerva: "Hey, Edward, what's up."

Mandy: What?!? Is this "Edward" kid your _boyfriend_? **Smiles evilly**

Minerva: **lightly smacks Mandy with the back of her hand mouths **:_ Group member._

Mandy: Oh _really_? Of course he is.

Minerva: "Yes, we need to work on the backboard." **Someone speaks on the other end** "_What_? Now? But-"** gets interrupted by the other end **"Fine, fine. Get Emmett and be here in 10 minutes. No, five. By the way, my friend is over here, just so you know. Yeah, I'm calling Lizzie right now. Right, grab Peleus while you're on your way. 'Kay. Get the report. See you."

Mandy: Wow. Explain what's happening, right now…please** puts on her puppy dog face**

Minerva: Umm… my science project group is coming here.

Mandy: How many boys? Are they cute?

Minerva: 3 boys, and I won't answer your other question.

Mandy: What? Why not? It is a simple question.

Minerva: I am not answering it.

Mandy: Please answer it or I'll- **gets cut off because doorbell rings**

Minerva: Who is it?

Mandy: It must be **puts on a dramatic tone and hand motions** the _boys_

Minerva: **Raises voice** Who is it?

Boy: It's us.

Mandy:** whispers** It's... _them_

Minerva: "Us" isn't answering my question **gets the door anyway**

**Three good looking boys walk in**

Mandy:** screams loudly**

Edward: **smiles**

Mandy: **feel likes fainting**

Minerva: Do you have the report?

Edward: I forgot it

Minerva: **smacks him **I told you to bring it on the phone

Mandy: Don't hurt him, he's an innocent angel

Minerva: You biased judger

Emmett: Sooo…

Minerva: Did you finish your essay?

Emmet: **stutters** umm….m-my w-w-wolf ate it?** thinks** _I hope she believes me_

Minerva:** deathly quiet** And…_where_ did you get a wolf?

Emmet: Umm…Taylor Lautner?

Mandy: Taylor Lautner….that really, really, really, really, really, hot guy?

Minerva: **smacks herself on the head **Why are boys always hot to you?

Mandy: Not all boys, 'cause some are… U.G.L.Y, they don't got no alibi, 'cause they're ugly, uh, uh, they ugly.

Minerva: Ugh… the time she chooses to sing…

Mandy: I just drank coffee… gosh

Minerva: You better finish that essay, or you'll regret it. I don't always take excuses.

Boy: When are we starting?

Minerva: Oh, Peleus, mind to call Lizzie for me? Hands over cell phone

Mandy:** goes and sits in the middle of Emmett and Edward**

Minerva: Oh no, you don't!

Emmett and Edward: No, it is okay, she can stay here! We can talk for... a little while. **smiles mischievously**

Mandy: **Nods head vigorously**

Minerva: Ok, after Peleus is done, we are getting to work

Everyone but Minerva and Peleus: **groans**

Minerva: Stop being big babies

Edward:** ignores her **Sooo…what is your name?

Mandy: Mandy Russo

Emmet: **holds out hand**

Mandy: **squeals with delight and shakes his oversized hand**

Edward: **rolls eyes at everyone** Can't wait till Lizzie comes here.

Minerva: **Calls to Peleus** Done yet?

Peleus: **Shakes head**

Minerva: I can't wait till she comes either

Mandy: **sings with the tune of _See You Again_**_ You can't wait to see her again_.

**Everyone stares**

Minerva: Please. Don't sing.

Mandy: Why?

Minerva: Because Edward is having a seizure.

Everyone**: looks at Edward rolling and twitching on the floor**

Mandy: **goes upstairs. thinks:** _Why is everyone so mean to me?_

Edward: Well_ sor-ry_!

Peleus: Um… you guys, Lizzie'll be here in a few minutes.

Emmett: Finally! Someone _sane_ I could actually _talk_ to!

Mandy: **stands at top of staircase** You **starts swearing** **** ********, I thought you thought that _I_ was sane! **throws shoe returns upstairs grumbling**

**Doorbell rings**

Minerva: I'll get it

Emmett: C'mon Minervy, let _me_ get it!

Minerva: No. And, if you value your life, don't ever call me Minervy again.

Mandy: **peeks out over the stairs to see newcomer**

Minerva:** opens the door**

Lizzie: Hey! Whats up? Tell me you didn't start without me.

Minerva: We didn't start without you. We are very behind because of these two brats!**gestures to Edward and Emmett**

Edward and Emmett: **puts on innocent expressions**

Lizzie: They forgot again, didn't they?

Minerva: **Nods** Anyways, we have to get to work. Lizzie, I am assuming you have the paper?

Lizzie: Yeah, I do.

Minerva: You can give me your papers, I'll edit them.

Lizzie: I already edited them, why again?

Peleus: Here you go!** hands paper over**

Minerva: Just to be sure. And you could have some free time while I'm doing it. Peleus is not complaining like you do...

Lizzie: Whatever. **hands paper over**

Minerva: Thank you!** smiles sweetly**

Mandy:** comes downstairs mumbling to herself**: Have to be calm, have to be calm, have to say sorry to Emmett... **stops mumbling** _Lizzie_!

Lizzie: Hey Mandy! Where have you been? I have been trying to contact you for weeks!

Mandy: **squeals **Lizzie! Sorry, I have been doing stupid homework and stuff.

Minerva: **cough**_Yeah, right... _**cough**_  
_

Mandy: I heard that... and Emmett? I'm sorry I threw the shoe at you... I was like mad at Minerva and stuff...

Minerva: Why me? It is Edward's fault that he had a seizure...

Mandy: Whatever. I'm bored and I'm gonna do something that is more entertaining then this

Edward: **Thinks **_Criminal work? I wanna go.._

Peleus: And what is more entertaining than this?

Emmett:** rolls eyes**

Mandy: Umm... none of your business

Edward: I forgot something at my house... I have to get it.

Emmett: Hold up, I am going with you

Minerva: Uh-uh. Not today. **takes Emmett's arm and makes him sit down**

Emmett: Oh man.

* * *

Mandy: **gets out the door**

Edward: **follows **Hey, what are you doing?

Mandy: **Thinks **_Why is he following me? _**speaks **Errr...nothing

Edward: I know what you are doing...criminal work

Mandy: What? How...how did...how did you know that?

Edward: I have my ways

Mandy: Wanna help?

Edward: What kind of criminal work are we gonna do?

Mandy: We are going to kidnap Rupert Grant and Emma Watson

Edward: Sure... wasn't Rupert Grant in Harry Potter as Ron Weasly?

Mandy: Yeah, he was. **Thinks **_He watches movies?_

Edward: Yes, I do... doesn't everyone?

Mandy: Yeah, sure... **thinks **_Did I say that aloud?_

Edward: Do you have any equipment?

Mandy: It's in the car... **opens the car door and gets out potato sack**

Edward: One? Who are we gonna kidnap first?

Mandy: Ummm...lets kidnap Rupert first because I hate him more than Emma

Edward: I see him!

Mandy: Where?

Edward: He's walking his dog...

Mandy: I can't see him. **thinks**_I dont see Rupert...how can he see him from that far away?_

Edward: Just wait...

Mandy: Oh, I see him. Lets go!

Edward: Sure. **thinks **_Hmm...He smells so goooood!_

Mandy: Hi Rupert! Look over there...there is a blimp and it has your name on it!

Rupert: Really? Where?

Edward: Over there. Don't you see it?

Rupert: No.** searches for it**

Mandy: 'Cause there is no blimp! Loser! **puts sack over Rupert and ties him  
**

Edward: Give him to me. **gets the bag**

Mandy: Come on, before anyone sees us.

**reaches house**

Mandy: **opens door for Edward**

Edward: **goes in and marches upstairs with sack**

Emmett: What is going on?

Mandy: Ummm...nothing

Minerva: **sigh **There she goes again

Peleus: **sigh **Minerva, did you finish editing it?

Minerva: Huh? No, not yet.

Lizzie: Minnie, are you done yet? I can't wait no more.

Minerva: You can't wait _any _more. Sorry, there's a ton of comma abuse in this essay. You have to wait like Peleus.

Lizzie: Oh goodness...

Mandy: Minnie? Can I talk to you?

Minerva: I am doing work here, do NOT interrupt me when I am doing something that involves education and editing.

Emmett: **mutters darkly**: you let _them _call you _Minnie_, but you don't let _me _call you _Minervy_?

All the girls: Shut up, Emmett.

Emmett: **Pouts**

Mandy: Whatever. I'll tell you later.

Minerva: And Mandy? Why did Edward just walk upstairs without my permission with a rather suspicious looking sack in his hand?

Mandy: Erm... about that...

Minerva: **expectantly taps foot**

Mandy: I'll tell you when we get into a quiet room where no one but you will be listening. Maybe after you're done editing?

Minerva: Alright by me. And please call Edward back down here while I'm editing this. I need to leave scars on his backside

Peleus and Lizzie: Yikes!

Emmett: Why?

Peleus: When Minerva says something like that...

Lizzie: **finishes his sentence **She's not kidding.

Emmett: Like she's really gonna do it?

Peleus: Yeah...

Emmett: **relaxes **I wouldn't worry too much

Peleus: Why is that?

Emmett: Edward has a pretty strong backside

Lizzie: **raises eyebrow** You sound pretty confident.

Emmett: Yeah? So?

Lizzie: How would you know? Did you ever see it?

Emmett: Maybe

Peleus: That's disgusting. Even if you're both brothers.

Emmett: Shut up, Peepeeus. No one asked you.

Peleus: **glares **It _is_ disgusting. You're just too embarrassed to admit it. And the name is _Peleus_.

Emmett: **mimicking voice **Whah, whah, whah, my name is Peleus and I'm a whiney pretty boy, and I like brains over beauty, whah, whah, whah.

Peleus:** mimicking voice** Whah, whah, whah, my name is Emmett and I'm stupid and look at boys' behinds. **lowers voice** And Minerva _is _pretty!

Mandy: **overhears** Pelvis, you like _Minerva_?

Minerva: **head snaps up and turns slightly pink **Umm... you guys, what are you talking about?

Lizzie: Umm... Hip bones! You know, pelvises?

Minerva:** sounds uncertain **I hope so... **slowly gets back to editing**

Peleus: **turns pink and whispers** I never said that.

Lizzie: **under breath** you implied it.

Everyone else besides Minerva (who didn't hear) and Peleus: **bursts out laughing hard**

Minerva: Lizzie, Peleus, I'm done editing your guys' work. What's going on over there?

Lizzie: Thanks, 'Nerva, and the boys are just being boys. You know how they are.

Minerva: Unfortunately.

Lizzie: I agree. Mandy is so lucky she has the gift of being able to tolerate boys.

Mandy: **stands right next to Lizzie and beams**

Minerva: **smiles at Mandy** That was one of the things that made us friends in the first place. Mandy, could you please tell me what Edward is doing?

Mandy: He's constipated in the bathroom.

Minerva: Okay... eww... I need to deliver some prune juice to him.

Mandy and Lizzie: **stares blankly**

Minerva: helps with digesting and **coughs into hand, turns slightly pink, and stares at ground and murmurs**: pooping.

Lizzie: And... _how _do you know this?

Minerva: **turns pinker** Mr. Evans mentioned it once.

Mandy: Huh?

Lizzie: our science teacher. **whispers:** I think Minerva fancies him.

Minerva: **turns bright red** I do _not_! **avoids all eye contact**

Mandy: Oh _really_?

Minerva:** looks up angrily** _Really_!

Lizzie: Why did he tell you that?

Minerva: Remember when we were studying feline behavior?

Lizzie: **nods**

Minerva: Well, the particular cat I was observing had some... _digestive _issues.

Mandy: **giggles **You mean a _cat _had problems _pooping_?

Minerva: It wasn't funny, nor was it fun watching a cat with such difficulties.

Mandy:** opens mouth to continue talking to ask questions about Mr. Evans and embarrassing Minerva**

Minerva: **cuts off Mandy** We need to go back, otherwise the boys will get curious and wonder what we're doing.

The girls: **goes to the boys, Emmet and Peleus are fighting**

Minerva: What the pancakes are you doing?!?

Emmett and Peleus:** still fighting**

Edward:** comes back from bathroom** Go! Go! Go, Emmett! Beat him like you have never beaten anyone before! Beat him like an animal!

Peleus: Ufff! Hurts! He's too big!

Emmett: And I like it!

Peleus: **grunts because Emmett is on top of him** Dude, you've got to loose some weight!

Lizzie: STOP IT! RIGHT NOW!** tries to pull them away **You are right, he is too big!

Edward: I'll stop it! Watch me! **pulls Peleus away from Emmett**

Emmett: Hey! What did you do that for!

Edward: I had to... I didn't want you to get hurt or _hurt _anybody.

Peleus: How would he get hurt? I mean, look at the size of him, he's probably, like, 7 feet tall!

Minerva: Awww! Don't feel bad... one day you will be big and strong like Emmet. And _please _don't be rude.

Mandy: **scoffs**

Peleus: **sighs says under breath**: I doubt it. **says to Minerva and Emmett**: Sorry...

Minerva: **shrugs **Apology accepted. Emmett? **stares expectantly**

Emmett: **grunts**

Minerva:** shoots threatening glance**

Emmett: Same here. Both things.

Minerva: Peleus, mind to edit this for me?

Peleus: Sure!

Mandy: **makes heart with hands, Minerva and Peleus don't notice**

Lizzie: **giggles**

Minerva: Why are you laughing?

Lizzie: Umm... **giggles **nothing

Mandy: **Cellphone rings** I have to get that, it's probably Seth **smiles and wanders to the kitchen**

Emmett: Who's this Seth? WHO'S SETH? Is he Seth Clearwater?

Minerva and Lizzie: **mouths **her _boyfriend_! **shares a secret smile**

Mandy: "Hey Seth! What's up?"

Seth: **on the other line** "Hey Mandy! Not much, how 'bout you?"

Mandy: "Same, same."

Seth: "I was wondering, if pause I can come over at your house and we can do homework or something together."

Mandy: **thinks**_ AAAAAAHHHHHH!_

Edward: **raises eyebrow**

Seth: "So, can I?"

Mandy: "Yes, I would love that! Yeah, you could come over right now. I'm at Minerva Diggory's house."

Seth: "I'm on my way." **hangs up**

Mandy: **Sighs lovingly and floats of kitchen**

Minerva: So you invited him here without my permission again?

Mandy: Thank you! **winks**

Minerva: Whatever. I guess I have no choice but to let it pass

**TO BE CONTINUED**

Once we get 10 reveiws, we are going to post the next chapter. In the reviews, please tell us how you guys like the characters' personalities so far,

~Book Lovers 101

PS: Hey, this is Authoress 1. I just wanted to say, we want ten _real _reveiws. Before I forget, I need to remind you people that saying "Please continue!!!" or "Upload next chapter soon!" is not a reveiw. That's all for now!


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